The Member Who Thinks the Conductor Is God
The devotion becomes particularly entertaining whenever the conductor changes their mind.
The Back Row
The Member Who Is Always Saving Their Voice
While the rest of the choir is attempting to engage with the exercises, they contribute what can best be described as a polite suggestion of singing. Their lips move. Some sound emerges.
The Choir's Unofficial Intelligence Service
Every successful choir also contains an entirely unofficial role occupied by a person who appears to possess access to information that should, by any reasonable standard, be unavailable to them.
The Great Pencil Borrowing Economy
The same people lend pencils week after week to the same borrowers, who display no obvious intention of ever acquiring pencils of their own.
The Singer Who Never Checks the Choir WhatsApp Group
They know within minutes when a neighbour has posted holiday photographs. They can instantly locate a video of a dancing alpaca uploaded seventeen seconds ago by a stranger in Peru.
The Member Who Brings a Water Bottle the Size of a Small Submarine
The singer leaves the room with an expression that suggests this is simply the price one pays for operating at such elite levels of hydration.
The Choir's Self-Appointed Assistant Conductor
Many Assistant Conductors also develop expertise in balance, diction and vocal technique. A neighbouring singer may suddenly find themselves receiving whispered observations about vowels, breathing or consonants despite never having requested a consultation.